Loaves and Fishes, and
100-Dollar Bills
Cornerstone Festival
2000
By
Michael J. Pritzl
How can I describe
with words what I have found remaining inside of my heart after such an
amazing week? I will
attempt to, though I fear I will not be able to shed enough of my skin
to let you see the wonder that I beheld.
Day One-
Wednesday.
There is something liberating
death alone brings
Something funny about a lot of sad
things
Something wonderful about
love
~Hindalong
I am not sure what
really happened on Wednesday afternoon. I only know that I showed up
backstage for our set. The
band before us finished.
The stage manager disappeared. We were not sure which
amplifiers we were allowed to use.
The monitor guy might as well not have been there either, we
asked him politely what amps we were to play through and he pretty much
blew us off, saying, “I am not the stage manager, ask
him!”
And so it
began. These are the kinds
of things I look forward too being in a Rock ‘n Roll band, especially
when we attend Christian events.
The tendency towards mediocrity is looming like a one eyed
giant. But at the same
time, this is the beauty of it.
I realized then, as I caught a bit of some bad attitude from a
couple of festival volunteers that each of us has something
special. For me, it is a
fish that God gave to me.
Sure, to some it may not look like much of a fish. In fact, it may even seem a bit
smelly and certainly it is slimy.
But, nonetheless, it is a fish, and God gave it to
me.
And with that in
mind, I finished setting up my cables and pedals, tuned my guitar, and
turned to the crowd and invited them to join me in prayer. We offered our hearts in that
moment. And God, in all of
His goodness met us there in that tent for 40 minutes or so. When we were finished I stood
there, humbled, by the presence of God, and by the generous approval of
those who shared our set with us.
It was a wonderful way to start Cornerstone
Festival.
Later that night a
man came to me. He reminded
me of a younger day. A time
that he asked Jesus to come into his heart with a man named Joey Taylor
at Knott’s Berry Farm amusement park in Southern California. Joey had apparently then
introduced him to a young 19-year-old who took this man in. For you see, this new believer
was homeless and had only the clothes on his back and a Mohawk on his
head. The 19 year old took
him to L.A. the next day and fed him, clothed him, took him to the beach
to be baptized, laid hands on him to receive the Holy Spirit’s Baptism,
and so on. This went on for
a season. Regardless, here
was this man now standing in front of me, recounting to me the kindness
shown to him while he was homeless. Then he proceeded to introduce
me to his oldest son who is now 11. He shared how he was now married
and had 5 children, and that he had experienced the good fortune of
leading over a hundred or so people to Jesus. Needless to say, I wept there
next to our merchandise table.
For as a young man my dad had told me that if I were going to
ditch my college classes and continue to work with homeless punk rockers
in L.A. that I would no longer be allowed to live in his house. I moved out two days later with
a bicycle and $200.
I never knew that my
life had counted for so much.
Later that night,
Melissa Barnett and I sang some songs for about 20 or so fans that drove
to the festival just to see us, but were held up at the gate due to
traffic and therefore missed our show. It was a peaceful
night.
The rain fell hard
that day, mud covered the ground… it was perfect.
Day Two
–Thursday
The
Lust, the Flesh, the Eyes
And
the Pride of Life
Drain the Life right out of
me
~Roe
Well, the reality of
who God is, and his ability to use each one of us seemed to be the theme
of the week, and on this night the theme continued.
We had the good
fortune of doing our press conference on this day. Which started out interesting
and then about 10 minutes into it, and while still answering a question,
we were told that there was no more time for us because a much more
popular band had finally showed up. And since the more popular band
were due to have their press conference an hour earlier but didn’t show,
the violet b was asked to
move from the press table to make room for the big
cats.
We moved to the back
of the tent to listen to the big cats’ press conference. This quite honestly was very
boring. But then I heard an
interesting answer from one of them. I don’t recall the question, but
the answer came, “We are sick of writing songs about our lives,”
implying that their lives were not that important, “we only write
‘God-focused’ lyrics.” They went on to claim.
Now, I pondered this
greatly, in fact when he first said it, I thought to myself, “Yeah!
That’s it! Maybe that is
what I have been forgetting to do!”
“Perhaps I need
more, ‘Christ-centered’ lyrics,” my thoughts were racing
now.
After all a powerful
president of a major Christian Music Distributor once told me, “you
know, Michael, if you would just write more lyrics that said ‘Jesus’ in
them, we would all make a lot of money!”
And then about an
hour later I began to see that it wasn’t it at all. In fact, I have come full
circle, because I believe that Jesus Christ is very concerned with our
lives. I believe that all
true friends are concerned with each other’s lives. And why would God, even Christ
Jesus (the friend of
sinners), not find each of our lives truly important to Him.
That is the good
news of the gospel, that God Himself actually looks at each one of us
and says, “Cast all of your cares on me, for I care for
you.”
And so, in the end I
disagreed with the big cats take on lyrics.
After a full day of
the lovely Midwestern humidity, Mr. Grimaud and myself wandered down to
Mainstage. It was our first
trip down there. There was
lots of security at the gate to the backstage area and they were turning
away wristbands left and right.
But somehow, when we walked up, the girl smiled at me and said,
“we were wondering if you were gonna make it back in time to
perform.” We just smiled
and said, “thanks.” I guess they thought we were in the big cats
group.
And then the joy of
watching one of my favorites, The
77’s! Mr. Roe and
company were in great form.
Watching him sing and play guitar has always been an inspiration
to me.
Later that night Mr.
Archuletta (our guitarist), went down to Mainstage to catch Delirious! Whom he said were wonderful and
fun, and he even passed one of the guys in the band our c.d.
Meanwhile, my friend
Christina and I went to catch some hardcore bands. I have to say that though most
of them sounded the same and seemed to be more into leaping around than
actually playing anything on their guitars, and I was pondering why they
all have the same lead singer.
I was definitely impressed with the drummer and bass player of Anguish Unsaid. They did some serious
rocking.
Then it was off to
watch the much anticipated Cush.
I was greeted
backstage by Mike Knott, surrounded by at least 50 beach
balls.
The beach balls were
then placed on the stage.
And a few minutes later Andy Prickett, Wayne Everett, Eric
Campuzano (formerly of the Prayer Chain), the former guitarist/singer of
Honey, took the stage and began with a hypnotic Verve induced jam which went on
for a few minutes. Shortly
Mike Knott arrived on the stage and added his vocals and charismatic
stage presence to the supergroup.
I cannot tell you
how much I enjoyed watching and listening especially to Andy, Wayne, and
Eric play together for the first time in the Cush format live. As always, they wore their
influences on their sleeves, and as usual I loved every second of
it. Wayne’s smooth and
fluid drum rhythms, covered by a wash of Prickett drones and bends, and
Campuzano’s classic bass lines, were definitely a highlight for me. I also enjoyed Andy and Honey’s
backup vocals. And of
course I loved that Knott ended most of the songs by yelling “CUSH!” into the
microphone.
Then it was time for
Undercover.
I had seen this band
many times over the years.
In fact, I remember a time when Joey Taylor, Undercover’s primary driving
force, and songwriter first started befriending me when I was about
20. I couldn’t believe that
he was actually talking to me.
I mean, at the time I didn’t even care for his band, but I loved
his heart, and I respected him a great deal as a teacher of the
Bible. It seemed that every
time he shared something from the stage that it would be full of some
piercing truth that would impact my life as a young man. So, when he started to say hi to
me and make an effort to be my friend, I was very humbled. I learned a lot from my time
with Joey over that year.
My favorite moment in our friendship came one night when I went
over to his little apartment in Costa Mesa, Ca. and he said to me,
“Michael, I have to play you this song!”
Now, Joey was no
singer, mind you, but I will never forget that night when as a young
man, I went in to Joey Taylor’s kitchen at 2:30 a.m. He sat down at his keyboard and
played “Come Away”, with his head bowed, and his voice cracking, mostly
not hitting any of the notes, I rode my bicycle home that night,
thinking to myself, “where did that amazing song come
from?”
Through the years I
had the good fortune of watching Undercover’s music touch
thousands of lives, and so with great joy I watched them play at the
Cornerstone Festival this year.
There was not a super large crowd to witness the hype of a new
group, there was only a band humbly doing what it had done for
years. In fact, I realized
more than ever on that night, that without bands like Undercover, the rest of us
playing there would probably never have had the chance at being a part
of something as impacting as the Cornerstone Festival. I believe that the fruit of our
music and ministries is actually their reward.
Day Three –
Friday
Count the stars to measure
time
The
earth is hard, the treasure fine
To
the sea, I’ll go on my knees
~Eugene (R.I.P.)
On Friday I drove
into the festival with Grimaud Jr., crying a bit as I listened to my
friend Gabriel sing, “Lord, open the gates, let Your people receive Your
healing..”
A couple of hours
later Grimaud Jr. has to be taken to the hospital because he had been
bitten by a Black Widow, and his arm was swelling up. Needless to say, he returned a
couple of hours later feeling fine after the doctor sucked all of the
poison out of his arm.
(Just kidding about the poison sucking)
About 50 of us
gathered together outside of the Asylum Tent that evening. As the sun went down on Middle
America we worshiped God and shared communion together. It was a wonderful way to begin
our Friday night.
It was John
Thompson’s birthday on this night, and he was in for a special
treat. For many years he
has loved, supported, and worked long hours to present the music and
artists that he loves to all of us. Thanks
John.
At midnight a lot of
friends and acquaintances gathered backstage for the Adam Again/ Gene
Eugene memorial concert.
Adam Again has long
been perhaps one of my favorite bands, and easily my favorite of the
Christian artists. Gene had
a way with words that left me
Tongue-tied,
twisted, and amazed that he knew exactly how I felt. And the band has always played
with so much spirit and emotion, in one moment laying down the heaviest
of funk drenched with feedback, and in the next quietly bringing you to
your knees with their somber, reflective songs.
They took the stage
that night without Gene, who passed away a couple of months ago. Riki Michelle led the band
through a couple tracks before Mike Roe joined them. Roe was perfect. He had me in tears by the second
song, and proceeded to leave the crowd spellbound with his takes on
Gene’s songs.
Mike Knott, Joey
Taylor, Steve Hindalong, and Derri Daugherty all pitched in adding their
musical abilities to the already force filled Adam Again
lineup.
John Knox laid down
the thunder on the drum kit, and Paul Valdez was in rare form. I don’t think I had ever seen
this fine bass player looking as intensely as he did that night. I remember watching him and Knox
ending a song with repeated bashing of cymbals and bass notes and Valdez
was locked, eyes, soul, body, on every hit that Knox threw at him. Sticking each hit like
superglue. Greg Lawless
laid in his funky distorted guitar, leading the band through each number
as if Gene himself was there.
And Andy Prickett added guitar to the whole set with his unique
swirling style, playing each riff like it was his
own.
The evening climaxed
with a video of Gene Eugene Andrusco set to the music of Cuyahoga (River
of Fire). It was magical
and strange seeing Gene up there on the screen. I had to smile, having seen him
with those expressions so many times before.
After the show many
of us went back to the hotel that most of the bands were staying at in
Macomb, IL. Each time I
have been to Cornerstone it has been sort of a tradition for many of the
artists to stay up late into the night, talking and catching up on each
other’s lives. On this
night the hotel room was spotted with members of The Choir, Adam Again,
Undercover, 77’s, Lost Dogs, Daniel Amos, Cush, the great
photographer-Anna Cardenas, record label people of various sorts, and
little old me. Of course,
it was so crowded that the gathering spilled out onto the balcony and
halls of the hotel.
I found my place
outside where I could enjoy a Camel, and stand and talk with a person
that I have admired from near and far in my lifetime. It seems that every couple of
years I get the privilege of talking at length with Mike Roe. And every single time we start
in on a conversation, it seems to last for hours. This night was no different, as
we talked until we could see the blue sky starting to erase the
stars.
Mike Roe reminded me
of many things on that night.
In fact I was left pondering some truths that somehow seemed more
alive than ever. We talked
of our friendships with Gene, and our pursuits of childhood dreams. But the seal that was placed on
my heart that night came when Mike reminded me, “you know, Jesus said,
‘if you have seen Me, you have seen the Father’,”
Mike continued, “so often we
forget that the only time Jesus ever had any harsh words for anyone, was
towards people who were ‘self righteous’ or who came across portraying
themselves as better than someone else.”
“If you have seen
Me, you have seen the Father”
“This is what God is
really like, kind, merciful, patient, loving, all of the things that we
see in Jesus.”
Sometimes we picture
the Father as this ogre in the sky who wipes out cities for their sins,
the one who sits on His great throne judging the heavens and the
earth. It is not too often
that we picture The Father being like the Son, the one who laid down His
life for His friends.
Remember Jesus ‘the friend of sinners’? When is the last time you
thought of God the Father as ‘the friend of
sinners’?
If you have seen Me,
you have seen the Father!
“When I look back at
all that I’ve done,” Roe continued, “I think that ultimately it is
Loaves and Fishes. God
seems to take what little bread I have to offer and He multiplies it and
uses it touch peoples lives, to feed their
hearts.”
And with the last
crumbs of Mike Roe’s words feeding my heart, and big sun rising, I went
off to bed.
Day 4 –
Saturday
Follow Christ to the Holy
Mountain
Sinner, sorry and wrecked by the
fall
Cleanse your heart and your
soul
In
the river that flows
From our blessed Savior’s
side
~
Hindalong
I began my evening
once again at the Asylum Tent.
On this night we had quite a large turnout for worship and
communion. But mostly I
really sensed the presence of the Lord in a sweet way as we
worshiped. I was touched
that so many of us come from different backgrounds in our Faith, various
churches and denominations, and yet the Lord transcends those
organizations and touches each of us in our hearts. He meets us where we
are.
At midnight Grimaud
Jr. and I ventured off to watch another one of our favorite artists, The
Choir. And boy, were we in
for a heavy dose of Rock 'n Roll and vibe. Opening the set with the magical
“Circle Slide”, Tim Chandler’s swirling bass lines and Hindalong’s
perfect tribal like drumming were hypnotizing me.
Then came the middle
drone of the song with Derri’s guitar whirling in feedback and drones,
and Dan Michaels putting on his best “Spiritualized” saxophone
drone. And there he was
again, Master Hindalong bashing his floor tom out of time over and over
throughout the middle drone of the song, just long enough to create the
perfect tension. It was
rock, it was vibe, and it was everything I love about music at
once.
And there was the
reminder again. I wondered
to myself, “I hope these guys know how many thousands of lives they have
touched and how many musicians they have inspired with the Fish and
Loaves of their lives, lyrics, and music.”
When I was 20 years
old and only played my acoustic guitar in my room for no one to hear
except for the angels and God Himself, Derry Daugherty pulled me aside
in a church parking lot after one of The Choir’s
shows.
He pulled out a
guitar amp from the trunk of his car and he said, “Michael, I believe
that God wants me to give you this guitar amp.”
There was no talking
him out of it.
And so, home I went
with a guitar amp given to me by one of the greatest artists I have ever
known. I didn’t know if I
should laugh or cry. I was
in shock. I didn’t even own
an electric guitar. Why
would God want me to have this?
He gave me some of his bread in the form of a guitar
amp.
The last song I
heard at Cornerstone this year was Steve and Derry performing ‘Beautiful
Scandalous Night’. I
wept.
Everything that I
have loved about Christian music and ministry was restored to me this
week. Sure, I still saw the
things that have always rubbed me wrong, or perhaps made me
uncomfortable. But the
reality that God has given each of us loaves and fishes. Musician or not, lyricist or
school teacher, pastor or construction worker, Farmer or student, we
each have the loaves and fishes of our lives to offer to Him. He is faithful to multiply them
and use them, no matter how crusty our bread, or how slimy our fish.
A pastor held up a brand new,
perfect, wrinkle free, spot free, right out of the bank vault,
100-dollar bill. “Who here wants this 100-dollar bill?” he asked. “It’s
brand new, not a fold or wrinkle in it!” Everyone in the congregation
held up their hands as if to say, “ I will gladly take that 100-dollars
off of your hands!” Then the pastor took the 100-dollar bill and
crumpled it up, threw it on the ground, smashed it with his foot, poured
some coffee on it, smashed his shoe into it a little more, got it good
and dirty. He bent over, picked that 100-dollar bill back up and said to
the congregation, “ Do any of you want a 100-dollar bill?” “ I mean,
after all, it’s crumpled, dirty, smashed, wrinkled. It is no longer all clean and
perfect. Do you still want
it?” Of course, everyone in the congregation raised their
hand.
Why is it that we
think the dirty, stained, crumpled, wrinkly 100-dollar bill of our own
lives or the lives of those around us is no longer worth 100 dollars? I
encourage you to see yourselves and each other not through eyes of men,
but rather through the eyes of God. Sure your Fish may be scaly,
your bread moldy, your 100-dollar bill stained with coffee, but God has
great value for your life and your heart, and He will use each of us if
we offer our lives to Him.
Ask Undercover, Lifesavors, Altar Boys, Delirious, Over the
Rhine, 77’s, The Choir, the Prayer Chain, Tragedy Ann, Saviour Machine,
The Violet Burning, Adam Again, Stavesacre, Pedro the Lion, J.P.U.S.A.,
Robert Deeble, Cush, Lost Dogs, Daniel Amos, True Tunes, The Wayside,
Rackets and Drapes, or any one of the artists that you know and
love.
Bring Him your
Loaves and Fishes,
And your 100-dollar
bills.
-Michael J.
Pritzl
